Sesame Streetwalker

Ok, I may go to hell for writing this post, but my hubby and I were laying in bed the other night and I was complaining that I was cold (as usual).  I asked him to put my extra blanket on me, but instead he threw my big stuffed Elmo at me.  For some reason, that prompted me to ask “Do you think Elmo has a big penis?”  That simple question started us down a twisted train of thought, where we debated the pros and cons of having sexual relations with various Sesame Street characters.  Here are the conclusions we came to:

Elmo – since Elmo has been a preschooler for like 20 years or more, any kind of sexual relationship there would border on pedophilia.

Cookie Monster – he is cute, funny and sweet, but not sure I would want to chance having oral sex with Cookie Monster, the enthusiasm might be good, but I don’t think his technique would have any rhyme or reason.  Plus, he might get cookie crumbs all over me.

The Count – love the count, but he would just be too detail oriented during sex.  One thrust, two thrusts…

Big Bird – never really liked him anyway, he would annoy the crap out of me.

Snuffy – seriously?  That would be like doing an elephant!

Oscar the Grouch – I would worry that he might have some kind of weird infections from hanging out naked in a trash can.

Grover – Grover is adorable and I love him, but he would probably be acting like “Super Grover”, hanging off the ceiling fan and crashing into walls.  Not the best thing to put you into a romantic frame of mind.

Ernie – He would probably bring along his rubber ducky (or Bert).  Still not sure what their relationship actually is, but I’m not really into the whole menage thing in real life.

What about you?  Have a hankering for any of the Sesame Street puppets?  Who do you think would make the best lover?


8 thoughts on “Sesame Streetwalker

  1. Zoe is the one I could never stand and Abby Cadabby would probably accidentally change you into a toad, but Countess Dahling von Dahling looked like she could be fun 😉

    Bert is certainly more of a watcher than a do-er that’s for sure and if Ernie wouldn’t put the duckie down to play the sax he certainly won’t to have some sex 😉

    What about Kermie though? I mean he must be packing something to keep the pig interested?

    And what about Barkley? that tongue…

    • We didn’t even discuss Dahling von Dahling or Barkley…will have to think about those ones. Abby Cadabby is like Elmo, bordering on pedophilia. Zoe has never been a favorite of mine either. To talk about Kermie and Miss Piggy I would have to branch out beyond Sesame Street to The Muppets. Maybe I will do that at some time in the future 🙂

      • Oh how could you miss Barkley?? The count might be detail oreintated, but you haveto admit he has a way with the ladies, he’s had a number of different Countesses over the years 😉

        Nah! Kermit has featured in quite a number of sesame street episodes and specials, don’t think Miss Piggy has, but if you do expand it gives you options like Rizzo, Gonzo and Fozzie 😉 although you’d haveto go a long way to beat Animal I should imagine *lol*

      • Yeah, I know Kermit has appeared on Sesame Street several times, but I always kind of classified those as “celebrity appearances” kind of like all the other celebs that stop by Sesame Street. Although it’s kind of sad that Katy Perry got kicked off just for having big boobs lol.

  2. I’ve been all over the internet today, and this post is BY FAR the most interesting one I’ve read (I’m not sure what that says about me, but hey!) It kind of reminds me of the whole ‘do you find Jessica Rabbit sexy’ from Wayne’s World moment… only more bizarre.

    ‘..oral sex with Cookie Monster, the enthusiasm might be good, but I don’t think his technique would have any rhyme or reason.’

    LOL LOL… You have no idea what I’m picturing right now. Well… you probably do. It’s not pretty. Don’t tell anyone, but i used to have a friend when I was younger who complained that he didn’t like oral sex because every time he went down he couldn’t breath! We had to explain to him that his nose wasn’t supposed to be involved in that particular activity.

    Happy days!

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