Weird Reviews and Homophobes

Today I received an interesting review on one of the male/male romance stories I wrote.  Normally I write straight sensual romance, but once in awhile I do like to experiment with gay relationships, probably because I am a big fan of Yaoi manga and anime.  Anyway, this reviewer (who happens to be a part of an extensive writing group I am involved in) wrote the following review of my story:

“This is rape!  The younger guy was taken advantage of by an older man, even if he enjoyed it anal sex is disgusting.  Next time you should only show frontal sex.  Great job though!”  The review had a rating attached to it as well – 5 stars, the best that can be given through the group’s rating system.  Which left me wondering, if he thought the story was disgusting and immoral, why in the world did he say that I did a great job and give me 5 stars?

The reviewer went on to explain that although he thinks gay sex is fine, anal sex is just taking it too far.  Of course, my first thought was ‘what the hell’?  Gay sex is fine but anal sex is disgusting?  How does that even make sense?  And what did he mean by saying I should only show frontal sex in the future?  Anybody have a clue on that one?

Also, for the record, the story was far from a rape because I do not write rapes.  I will admit there was persuasion and seduction involved, but people should remember that sensual romance or erotica is about fantasies, not necessarily what we would do in real life.  I do not agree with taking anyone against their will or harming another person, so please do not think I am in favor of those things, but if we can’t fantasize a little bit, what’s the use?

The whole encounter left me scratching my head a little bit and feeling discouraged by the homophobia that is obviously still a big part of our society.  Even some of my fellow writers who write gay romance admit that their husbands are homophobes…seems odd doesn’t it?

It also seems like men are generally more homophobic than women, anyone have a clue why that is?  Is it because they feel that accepting and befriending gay males will damage their own masculinity?  If so, it makes you wonder how insecure they are in the first place.  Of course, I am just taking a shot in the dark there, so if you have a theory or insight into this subject, please feel free to leave a comment!




9 thoughts on “Weird Reviews and Homophobes

  1. Sounds like a very helpful critique! Well, at least the dude appreciated the story for the writing, I guess, even if he thought it was immoral. No idea on the frontal sex thing. Maybe next time you have two men go at it, put one on his back so they’re facing each other (?).

    Haha – fun read. Made me miss writer’s workshops. Peace!

    • I think you might be right. That is what I was guessing, but wasn’t sure. Fake sex doesn’t sound all that exciting to me. Ok for foreplay, but I do like it to lead to something more 🙂

  2. Wow, I wouldn’t worry too much about this review. Obviously, the guy thought your writing was good, but it seems like he was weirded out by anal sex as much as he was by the fact that it was two guys together in a sexual situation. I’m guessing “frontal sex” in his mind means a man and a woman doing it missionary style? Screw that, give me some hot anal to mix it up now and then:)

    • Thanks Sue. Actually the review didn’t bother me as much as it made me laugh. Partly I thought he was a prude and partly I thought that maybe he enjoyed it a little too much and it scared him 🙂

  3. I think your “shot in the dark” theory about men is pretty accurate. Thing is, I know several gay guys (in long-term relationships, too) who poo-poo (sorry couldn’t resist) anal sex as “disgusting”. Go figure! I’d disregard that respondent’s comments. Can’t please ’em all.

    • Wow, that is kind of surprising! I’ve never personally known a gay guy who disliked anal sex, but I have heard there are some that do, I always figured it was a small minority though. I think some of them do what they call frotting instead of anal, right?

  4. Why do men fear homosexuality?

    If a man finds himself to be less than perfect masculine, what can he do? No ancient tradition of manhood survives in our day, nothing a man can point to as proof that “I am a real man.” There is no atonement, no grace, no way back into the fold. So he fears the truth, so much that he cannot even ask himself what he really feels.

    We don’t even know that we belong. We doubt our own claims, and fear to be found out. These men, that flout the rules that bind us, stir questions that most of us dare not explore. Surely, anybody of middling intelligence and compassion can understand how that might confuse many men, and make them uncomfortable, even “homophobic.”

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