Sesame Streetwalker

Ok, I may go to hell for writing this post, but my hubby and I were laying in bed the other night and I was complaining that I was cold (as usual).  I asked him to put my extra blanket on me, but instead he threw my big stuffed Elmo at me.  For some reason, that prompted me to ask “Do you think Elmo has a big penis?”  That simple question started us down a twisted train of thought, where we debated the pros and cons of having sexual relations with various Sesame Street characters.  Here are the conclusions we came to:

Elmo – since Elmo has been a preschooler for like 20 years or more, any kind of sexual relationship there would border on pedophilia.

Cookie Monster – he is cute, funny and sweet, but not sure I would want to chance having oral sex with Cookie Monster, the enthusiasm might be good, but I don’t think his technique would have any rhyme or reason.  Plus, he might get cookie crumbs all over me.

The Count – love the count, but he would just be too detail oriented during sex.  One thrust, two thrusts…

Big Bird – never really liked him anyway, he would annoy the crap out of me.

Snuffy – seriously?  That would be like doing an elephant!

Oscar the Grouch – I would worry that he might have some kind of weird infections from hanging out naked in a trash can.

Grover – Grover is adorable and I love him, but he would probably be acting like “Super Grover”, hanging off the ceiling fan and crashing into walls.  Not the best thing to put you into a romantic frame of mind.

Ernie – He would probably bring along his rubber ducky (or Bert).  Still not sure what their relationship actually is, but I’m not really into the whole menage thing in real life.

What about you?  Have a hankering for any of the Sesame Street puppets?  Who do you think would make the best lover?

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Foreplay – where do you fall on the sexual spectrum?

Ok, today I’m going to talk about something a little naughty…foreplay.  How important is foreplay to a fulfilling sexual experience?  Are you the kind that likes to take the scenic route, or do you just want to get down to business?

I must admit that as a woman, I am probably unusual in this department, in fact my husband is more like the typical woman and I am more like the typical man.  My husband likes to take it nice and slow, involve all of the body and mind before reaching completion.  I can often be just the opposite.  When I am really in the mood and don’t need any revving up, I just want to get my freak on.  I want to tear off his clothes and mine, feel skin against skin and start bucking wildly until we are both worn out and ready to collapse.

I think sometimes this personality quirk shows in my writing and reading tastes as well.  I like blunt sexual scenes that are fast, hard and unrestrained.  I often have to force myself to slow it down a bit when I am writing a love scene, because I know that many readers want a good build-up.  I am happy to provide this, provided that I get to eventually turn things up and get a little wild.  Not that sex shouldn’t sometimes be sweet, gentle and slow, but my Scorpio nature just doesn’t seem to go for that as often as the harder stuff.

Sometimes I wonder if astrology is the cause behind my husband’s preferance as well.  As a Libra, he is the sign of balance, a proud fan of romance and about as easygoing as anyone you will ever meet.  I am a Scorpio and often the exact opposite.  I am passionate, easily carried away by my emotions, impatient and I prefer sex to be exciting and forceful.

Luckily, my husband and I try to meet each other halfway.  Sometimes I give him the slow ride he craves and other times I simply jump his bones and see how crazy I can make him go.  In the end, I think it all evens out.

What about you?  Are you a sightseer or a hit and run driver?

Got my first real Kindle!!!

This week I received my first real ereader in the mail!  I have read ebooks on the Kindle app on my laptop and read many ebooks in PDF format, but it just isn’t the same as having an actual ereader.  I have been obsessed the last few days with my new gadget, trying to figure out exactly what it can and can’t do.  I should probably admit up front that I don’t have the fancy new Kindle Fire.  I figured it would be easier (and cheaper) to start out with the regular model and see if I even like it.  So far, here are my thoughts on the Kindle:

*I love being able to change the font style, size and other things like that.  I am one of those people who will not read a book if the print is too tiny or annoying.  For that reason, I think the Kindle will be great for reading some books I might have passed up otherwise.

*I hate the fact that I can’t read the Kindle in the bathtub…at least not safely that I can figure.  I do ALOT of reading in the bathtub, probably because my preferred method of relaxing includes surrounding myself in a big pile of bubbles.

*I like the free games that you can download on the Kindle…maybe a little too much.  I find myself wasting time that I should spend writing, playing games like Thread Words, Jigsaw Words and Grid Detective.

*Although they did a good job of making the Kindle thin, small and fairly light, it still doesn’t feel as good between my fingers as a new paperback novel.

*The selection of free or cheap books on Amazon is really pretty good, you only have to know where to look and give authors a chance, even if you have never heard of them.  The quality of indie books seems to be improving, and you can often tell by using the “Look inside this book” feature whether an author has written a quality book or not.

*An electronic device just isn’t as comfy to curl up with.  Maybe in time I will get used to it, but so far I do miss the smell, feel and look of a classic book.  In no way have I given up on my Kindle, I really do like it, but in some ways I am just an old-fashioned girl at heart.

What about you?  Would love to hear what others think of the ebook revolution.

The Writing Roller Coaster

I am currently reading “The Art of War for Writers” by James Scott Bell.  This book is filled with useful inspiration and straight shooting about what writing and living the author life are all about.  Today I read an entry that especially inspired me (and made me chuckle a bit).  Here is a short excerpt from that section, which was actually written by the successful novelist Terri Blackstock and was reprinted in “The Art of War for Writers” with her permission.

“I think one of the things unique to the writer’s life is that we do seem to be on a roller coaster…book comes out, good review, I dance again and sing for joy and write all my friends and make copies for my mother.  Then I go on Amazon and read one lousy review from some hostile reader, and I notice that I’m ranked 6,000,342,786, and I go around the house looking for my gun or the Valium I threw away when I was dancing for joy the last time.

But before I pull the trigger or toss those pills down my throat, I start thinking, ‘What if some guy had a gun and a bottle of anxiety pills and before he offs himself a shot rings out and he hits the floor and suddenly wants to live, only others want him dead,’ and woo-hoo, my spirits soar and my eyes glaze over, and like a homing robot (if there is such a thing) I stumble back to that keyboard and start typing.”

Is that the truth or what?  I could so relate to all the parts of this, the endless ecstasy and the bottomless pit of despair.  How about you?  Are you also on the writing roller coaster, trying to hold back your barf?

Romance novels – make them into movies!

Perhaps it is just me, but I have often wondered why they don’t turn more romantic novels into movies.  The romance novel market is a thriving one, a look around Amazon or any local bookstore should show you that.  Even when you browse the shelves at Wal-Mart or your local grocery store, you tend to see more romantic paperbacks than any other genre.

However, unless you count the Nicholas Sparks or Danielle Steel books that have been turned into movies, it seems like very few adult romance novels, even those off the bestsellers list ever get a movie contract.  I guess you could assume that maybe moviemakers figure they would be a hard sell, although that seems pretty odd, since they do make quite a few chick-lit books into movies…and surely those would have a similar demographic.

So what do you think?  Why do they not turn many romance novels into films?  Would you be willing to shell out the money to see some of your favorite romance novel characters heating up the big screen?  I know I would love to see some of these movies made, but perhaps I am in the minority.  If you have an opinion on the matter, please feel free to leave a comment below!

 

Currently reading…

I always like to know what others are reading, in fact, when I go to the doctor’s office I often sneak peeks at the titles on the books the other patients are reading.  Unfortunately, the popularity of the Nook and Kindle are making it harder to spy on people’s reading habits, but I’m not shy about sharing my interests, so below are some books I’m either currently reading or have shortlisted on my to-be-read pile.

If you have read any of these books, feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of them!  Also, do you have any great romance/erotica books you would suggest I add to my reading list?

“Bedtime Stories for Lovers” by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd

 

 

 

 

“British Bad Boys”

 

 

 

 

“Ravish” by Cathy Yardley

 

 

 

 

“If You Give a Girl a Viscount” by Kieran Kramer.

Welcome to my blog!

I will keep this post short, but I just want to welcome everyone to my brand new blog!  You can check out the “About Me” page for more information about me, but please think about taking a look at my new romantic erotica ebook, “Sexy Little Bites: Short Stories to Excite”, which is currently available on Smashwords, Amazon and Barnes and Noble for only $.99.  I am also looking for willing folks to read and review “Sexy Little Bites”, so if you are interested, please leave a comment on this post or visit me on Facebook or Twitter.