Tag Archive | funny

Weird Reviews and Homophobes

Today I received an interesting review on one of the male/male romance stories I wrote.  Normally I write straight sensual romance, but once in awhile I do like to experiment with gay relationships, probably because I am a big fan of Yaoi manga and anime.  Anyway, this reviewer (who happens to be a part of an extensive writing group I am involved in) wrote the following review of my story:

“This is rape!  The younger guy was taken advantage of by an older man, even if he enjoyed it anal sex is disgusting.  Next time you should only show frontal sex.  Great job though!”  The review had a rating attached to it as well – 5 stars, the best that can be given through the group’s rating system.  Which left me wondering, if he thought the story was disgusting and immoral, why in the world did he say that I did a great job and give me 5 stars?

The reviewer went on to explain that although he thinks gay sex is fine, anal sex is just taking it too far.  Of course, my first thought was ‘what the hell’?  Gay sex is fine but anal sex is disgusting?  How does that even make sense?  And what did he mean by saying I should only show frontal sex in the future?  Anybody have a clue on that one?

Also, for the record, the story was far from a rape because I do not write rapes.  I will admit there was persuasion and seduction involved, but people should remember that sensual romance or erotica is about fantasies, not necessarily what we would do in real life.  I do not agree with taking anyone against their will or harming another person, so please do not think I am in favor of those things, but if we can’t fantasize a little bit, what’s the use?

The whole encounter left me scratching my head a little bit and feeling discouraged by the homophobia that is obviously still a big part of our society.  Even some of my fellow writers who write gay romance admit that their husbands are homophobes…seems odd doesn’t it?

It also seems like men are generally more homophobic than women, anyone have a clue why that is?  Is it because they feel that accepting and befriending gay males will damage their own masculinity?  If so, it makes you wonder how insecure they are in the first place.  Of course, I am just taking a shot in the dark there, so if you have a theory or insight into this subject, please feel free to leave a comment!




Sesame Streetwalker

Ok, I may go to hell for writing this post, but my hubby and I were laying in bed the other night and I was complaining that I was cold (as usual).  I asked him to put my extra blanket on me, but instead he threw my big stuffed Elmo at me.  For some reason, that prompted me to ask “Do you think Elmo has a big penis?”  That simple question started us down a twisted train of thought, where we debated the pros and cons of having sexual relations with various Sesame Street characters.  Here are the conclusions we came to:

Elmo – since Elmo has been a preschooler for like 20 years or more, any kind of sexual relationship there would border on pedophilia.

Cookie Monster – he is cute, funny and sweet, but not sure I would want to chance having oral sex with Cookie Monster, the enthusiasm might be good, but I don’t think his technique would have any rhyme or reason.  Plus, he might get cookie crumbs all over me.

The Count – love the count, but he would just be too detail oriented during sex.  One thrust, two thrusts…

Big Bird – never really liked him anyway, he would annoy the crap out of me.

Snuffy – seriously?  That would be like doing an elephant!

Oscar the Grouch – I would worry that he might have some kind of weird infections from hanging out naked in a trash can.

Grover – Grover is adorable and I love him, but he would probably be acting like “Super Grover”, hanging off the ceiling fan and crashing into walls.  Not the best thing to put you into a romantic frame of mind.

Ernie – He would probably bring along his rubber ducky (or Bert).  Still not sure what their relationship actually is, but I’m not really into the whole menage thing in real life.

What about you?  Have a hankering for any of the Sesame Street puppets?  Who do you think would make the best lover?

The Writing Roller Coaster

I am currently reading “The Art of War for Writers” by James Scott Bell.  This book is filled with useful inspiration and straight shooting about what writing and living the author life are all about.  Today I read an entry that especially inspired me (and made me chuckle a bit).  Here is a short excerpt from that section, which was actually written by the successful novelist Terri Blackstock and was reprinted in “The Art of War for Writers” with her permission.

“I think one of the things unique to the writer’s life is that we do seem to be on a roller coaster…book comes out, good review, I dance again and sing for joy and write all my friends and make copies for my mother.  Then I go on Amazon and read one lousy review from some hostile reader, and I notice that I’m ranked 6,000,342,786, and I go around the house looking for my gun or the Valium I threw away when I was dancing for joy the last time.

But before I pull the trigger or toss those pills down my throat, I start thinking, ‘What if some guy had a gun and a bottle of anxiety pills and before he offs himself a shot rings out and he hits the floor and suddenly wants to live, only others want him dead,’ and woo-hoo, my spirits soar and my eyes glaze over, and like a homing robot (if there is such a thing) I stumble back to that keyboard and start typing.”

Is that the truth or what?  I could so relate to all the parts of this, the endless ecstasy and the bottomless pit of despair.  How about you?  Are you also on the writing roller coaster, trying to hold back your barf?