Ok, I may go to hell for writing this post, but my hubby and I were laying in bed the other night and I was complaining that I was cold (as usual). I asked him to put my extra blanket on me, but instead he threw my big stuffed Elmo at me. For some reason, that prompted me to ask “Do you think Elmo has a big penis?” That simple question started us down a twisted train of thought, where we debated the pros and cons of having sexual relations with various Sesame Street characters. Here are the conclusions we came to:
Elmo – since Elmo has been a preschooler for like 20 years or more, any kind of sexual relationship there would border on pedophilia.
Cookie Monster – he is cute, funny and sweet, but not sure I would want to chance having oral sex with Cookie Monster, the enthusiasm might be good, but I don’t think his technique would have any rhyme or reason. Plus, he might get cookie crumbs all over me.
The Count – love the count, but he would just be too detail oriented during sex. One thrust, two thrusts…
Big Bird – never really liked him anyway, he would annoy the crap out of me.
Snuffy – seriously? That would be like doing an elephant!
Oscar the Grouch – I would worry that he might have some kind of weird infections from hanging out naked in a trash can.
Grover – Grover is adorable and I love him, but he would probably be acting like “Super Grover”, hanging off the ceiling fan and crashing into walls. Not the best thing to put you into a romantic frame of mind.
Ernie – He would probably bring along his rubber ducky (or Bert). Still not sure what their relationship actually is, but I’m not really into the whole menage thing in real life.
What about you? Have a hankering for any of the Sesame Street puppets? Who do you think would make the best lover?
Velvet Rose 